"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
-Dr Seuss
For me, that encompasses friendship-love as well.
First encounters are fascinating, aren't they? Each one is matchless. I think it's absolutely enchanting that all significant relationships (whether platonic or romantic or professional etc.) start off as just another random intersections of two paths. Most first encounters are pretty insignificant, because most don’t lead to very long lasting or significant relationships, at least for me thats the case because although I can be very friendly, I’m actually a very guarded and cautionary person when meeting/getting to know people…normally. So, even if someone is no longer in my life whether because they died or we had a falling out, drifted apart, we broke up or whatever I still really enjoy looking back and recalling my first interaction with them. Remembering my first impressions, misconceptions, and perceptions; remembering what they wore or what they said, where we were, the sequence of events that led to our paths crossing…remembering the moment that I decided I liked them, or realized I was wrong about them.
I think those are some of the moments in life I cherish most: meeting someone you have no idea is about to stick around for a very long time; or mean a lot to you; or hurt you; or help you grow; or give you a job; or just impact your life and change its direction; or change your outlook. Its' a retrospective appreciation and something that I don’t think one CAN ever appreciate the moment it's happening. Maybe because you can't be aware of your misconceptions or perceptions the first instant you meet someone because you have nothing to compare it to yet, or maybe it's because you can't tell how significant this person will be to you in the future.
One of the oldest first impressions I remember is from kindergarten when I met Ashley benson. She was being moved up from junior kindergarten and I remember Mrs. Easton wanted me to show Ashley around and basically befriend her. I remember exactly where we stood in the playground as Mrs. Easton intruduced us. Ashley was so shy, she had a long blonde curly poney-tail that was pulled high and tight at the top of her head. She'd pull the pony tail over to one shoulder and cuddle with it as she sucked her thumb. I remember thinking that was kind of strange, and noticing she was very quiet and shy. I don’t remember anything after that: where I took her, or any wise advice I gave her as a senior kindergartener. But I remember meeting Ashley Benson.
Some of my more recent memorable first encounters naturally have taken place in Spain.
Elena: FIRST day in Spain. Arrived to the hostel; was nervous about the fact that they didn't have room in their storage for my bags; went on a walk; met up with Luis, my only contact, via his Reuters coworker (my cousin) Sanam from London. He called and invited me for drinks with some work friends. We met up and walked around until we found a place to our liking. Sat down and ordered a round of cañas. Elena showed up a little late. I remember she was laughing a lot and noticed her blonde hair more than I notice most blonde hair, it was almost bronze..the shade was so unique. She was smoking a pallmall cigarette, they were smaller and thinner than the standard cigarettes, and the box was purple. She called them her babies, and thought they were very femenine and elegant and cute. My Spanish was rusty back then so I remember being relieved I could understand what she was saying. At some point she saw a little spider on the wall and she freaked out because she’s aracnophobic. The next thing I knew, she was asking me if I wanted to crash at her place instead of staying at the hostel. What do you think my answer was? We walked to the hostel, got my stuff and then I lived with Elena for 3 weeks....and 7 months later here we are. In my wildest imagination I would not have guessed that the purple-cigarette-smoking-blonde-aracnaphobic-girl sitting across from me on my first night in Spain would have ended up becoming such an important person in my life. And although I hardly talk to Luis anymore, I owe him thanks for making my and Elena’s paths cross.
I met Katy next. I was on the metro going to the orientation, I was nervous and confused because the directions were not clear. She was the girl sitting across the metro from me. She was really cute, but I couldn’t figure out if she was Spanish or American. If she was American she was definitely in the same program as me. I saw her looking at me too. Was it because I was looking at her? Or was it because she was just as nervous and lost as I was? I decided if she got off on the same stop as me I'd talk to her. She got off one stop before mine. As she was leaving I remember feeling disappointed. As the metro doors closed I saw she was reading the signs in the metro…she had no idea where she as going…she was lost! She was American! I got off on my metro stop and walked to the orientation. As I entered the packed room I saw her sitting in the crowd, we made eye contact and both just started laughing. We waved and I took an empty seat. During break we finally talked and exchanged contact information and the rest is history.
I met Carolina day 2 of the orientation. I was standing outside during the break with Katy and some other people. I remember one girl had so many facial piercings it looked like shrapnel. She was from Texas so I was scared of her. I never saw her after that day. There was Andy the rebellious catholic who became mormon, never saw him again either. Then all of a sudden Katy and Carolina saw each other and freaked out. Apparently they both knew each other form Colgate University. Katy introduced Carolina to everyone and I remember her asking me if I was Persian once she heard my name, in that moment I knew she was going to be a very important friend to me. Lots of people have asked me if I’m Persian in my life, and it's never been an indicator of our future friendship. I don’t think I felt that way about Carolina because of that question either, I honestly think it was her eyebrows. I know it makes no sense. Weird? Yes. But was I right? Also, yes.
There are some first encounters that I can't remember.
The most important first encounter of my life I can't even remember: meeting my sister. I remember being in the hospital and seeing the big room of newborns, and seeing my mom in the hospital bed drinking a cup of apple juice, I remember recieving a little toy dog that did back flips (that my mom said Keon brought for me, which I can't tell you how confusing that ws for me) but I don’t remember seeing Keon face to face for the first time unfortunately.
I can't remember talking to Sam for the first time either. I remember seeing him for the first time in my first architecture studio and thinking he was SUPER COOL (I was wrong, he was a giant dork). Neither one of us remembers how we became friends. But 6 years later, he came all the way from Oregon to visit me in Spain!
Ashley Hadjatry Tarzaban-2009 Eugene, Jameson's, boyfriends, "bazesh kon, garmesh kon, nushe jaan!".
Brooke Hulteen-7th grade, pink hair, Emily Thelin's birthday party, bathtub pedicures, land lines.
Megan Rauscher (Apparently we had a class in 2005) but really 2008/2009ish via Megan Ackerman, at Rennies, you had a tube sock in your purse, we had simultaneous break ups.
Megan Ackerman-UO INTRODUCKTION you were in line behind me.
Megan Ackerman-UO INTRODUCKTION you were in line behind me.
Eleena Kaldani- Apparently we met back in like 5th grade at Rachel Olmstead's birthday party, I have a vague recollection of a little brown girl, but obviously we didn't leave too strong of an impression on one another back then. The next time was in fieldhockey freshman year LGHS you were jumping on Giselle's back, your energy shocked me, then you chose soccer. Spring sophomore year you got Hank Calhoun for Sadie’s but then I got class rep fall junior year. We were on the path towards becoming fast enemies when in spring junior year walking to physics we finally clicked.
Eric Chen-LGHS biology freshman year, you spoke Chinese (don't know which one) to Rona Liu at our table and I felt excluded. Coronation...sorry, I was from Hillbrook. I'm glad we made it past that :P
Lucas-UO arch201 I thought you were weird. I was right but for the wrong reasons :)
Jonas-Megan Haight's studio, you were jaded, I was eighteen.
Wynter-You were new at Hillbrook and my mom told me to make you feel welcome on the first day of school.
Hannah L-Hillbrook. You were from England and we mispronounced your name because of your accent. Ashleigh W and McKenzie monopolized you. I remember you playing horses with Christine and Sally and memorizing sign language for communication across the classroom. You invited me over in 4th grade, told me you wanted to be on Broadway, did the hampster voice and convinced me you hid on top of the roof via the chimney during hide and seek. I tried and failed, you laughed.
Hannah A- LGHS. Was in awe of your style.
Alejandro- saw you in Megan Ackerman's Argentina photos. Gchat. Cusco to Buenos Aires: I wore a poncho and my face was burnt from Machu Picchu. I hadn’t slept so my eyes were blood-shot. I was self conscious and had morning breath. You came early before work to receive me. You teased me and then helped me.
Keillan-honors college UO Cogan 2005
Trish- I had heard so much about you before I met you. Sorry for coming off as a b****. I know you understand.
Carly-Megan Haight "girls with small breasts have bigger hearts" shirt. You were new-age-christian, and I was wary.
Andrea- We shared a nook in Megan Haight's studio. I was Impressed by your materials and copic markers.
M(ichael)Ober-Corey´s studio, 4th year arch school. You made me laugh when I was crying.
Amy- I remember the e-mail you sent me when I was in Iran the summer before uni. I can't tell you how happy I was and thrilled that you were so AWESOME you wanted to take me to the spheroid and "paint the town red" !! The day I walked into our dorm for the first time I was dying from excitement, but you were there with Scott and I felt awkward. I still rememer the sound your keys made when you'd walk up the stairs and down the hall to our room.
Amy- I remember the e-mail you sent me when I was in Iran the summer before uni. I can't tell you how happy I was and thrilled that you were so AWESOME you wanted to take me to the spheroid and "paint the town red" !! The day I walked into our dorm for the first time I was dying from excitement, but you were there with Scott and I felt awkward. I still rememer the sound your keys made when you'd walk up the stairs and down the hall to our room.
Caroline Ahlquist-Portland,Oregon at your apartment off Burnside. I was so nervous, but then you hugged me when I tried to shake your hand. And then you gave me wine.
Moonhan- Fall freshman year between Carson and Dyment dorms. I was sitting on a bench and we had a mutual friend, I loved your name and was fascinated you were from Alaska!
Jackie- Met via Carly. You gave me your TV. I thought you hated me. Your house was big and it was raining.
Martin-Found you in a hostel in Portland, threw you in the back of my creepy Mercedes and gave you yerba maté. Your English was bad, and we hung out with Argentina friends. You had no idea what was really going on.
Melina-Rosario, Argentina. You came with Anabela to the bus station to receive me, you threw me on your tiny motor bike with my giant backpack. We almost didn't fit.
Vanessa-2nd grade. You were homeschooled before then and we thought you were a freak for that. Admittedly, we were wrong.
Luis and Javier- With Eleena in Madrid Christmas shopping around Sol in 2006. 19 vs. 29. Great story.
Emily- You were friends with Quinn and I thought that was strange. You burped and laughed very loudly too. We had studio with Ken soph year, but you sang songs out loud from the other side of class and were dating Robin. We clicked one year later in Kelsey's studio. Salt 'n' peppa.
KatyCross- I met you at Emily's 21st but she blacked out so you were kicking everyone out. Then you came to visit Emily in studio senior year and sat with us as we traced at the light tables late at night. You were much nicer that time.
Kyle- I remember you giving me a ride to Emily and Katy’s house for some reason. It was the first time we met. I wanted to make inappropriate jokes, but controlled myself.
I mean, I could go on forever...sometimes it's just fun to stop and remember how you met people, and how things were back then, and how things have changed since. I think it just makes me feel generally more appreciative of things. I know that’s vague, I can't explain it any better though.
"I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone."
-Dr. Seuss
