hiatus: terminated

It's been a few months since I've written anything. In this time I have learned how to live comfortably in hospitals,  I've become wayyy more comfortable with blood and other scary bodily functions than is necessary, and I can talk like a seasoned doctor who has been practicing for 30 years.

 I didn't want to preserve or remember what I was going through. I absolutely wanted to forget it. The pain of seeing your dad and family, go through a devastating accident is beyond overwhelming.

It's very strange and surreal how your body keeps on going in extremely difficult times like these. People have told us "You're so strong and brave, we don't know how you do it" but I think that it's a natural human instinct to keep on surviving. I think everyone would do what we are doing, because, we aren't doing much, just going through it, and keep on living. And you DON'T know how you do it. But I think that's when your body kind of goes into autopilot. And even though this is a very complicated and disastrous event in your life, somehow the rest of your life gets very simple: you eat whatever you want whenever you want. You cry whenever you want where ever you want as hard as you want for as long as you want. You really see who your true friends are, even family members can weed themselves out during times like these, the ones that will stand by you and really help you vs the ones who don't. And the people who do falter, you just let go of them with no problem. You have no energy or care to bother with them anymore. You sleep so hard you don't dream. Your priorities really line up in times like these. And I mean like basic life survival priorities. It's like life gets really condensed and all the bullshit is boiled off and whats left is really pure and basic. Elemental life.

Now, I'm settled a bit more. Living with my mom in my hometown, Los Gatos. Actually working on my architecture portfolio (and making good progress! Though it is truly AMAZING how SLOWLY these things come together, sometimes it's so daunting, and other times, really inspiring.) I'm applying for (non architecture) jobs and have started interviewing to stay busy and entertained and productive (until the portfolio is finished I can't start actively applying and interviewing for architecture jobs. The portfolio is crucial.)

Tangent: I really like job interviews they're so exciting.

I've been making a LOT of things, mostly accessories. Making things is one of my most favorite things to do in the entire world. It's so rewarding to physically see how productive you can be! Making things is up there on my list along with laughing, eating, and traveling...those are definitely my four #1 most favorite things to do in the world. They're tied.

Tangent: JUST discovered the TV show PICKER SISTERS yesterday (I know, stupid name, also, ignore the trailer, the "sisters" are kind of annoying, also they are not really sisters)...BUT, I don't even know how to explain how excited I was. BECAUSE the show is about using recycled/second hand "garbage" and redesigning it/reworking it into amazing beautiful unique furniture!! If you are creative, like design, and making things, watch this show. But maybe buy some adult diapers first because you will probably lose bladder control.

Tangent: Cousin is getting married and I made her a flower/veil head piece and I finally finished it last night!

After some of the dust settles and you start getting used to the concept of what your life is now, start getting accustomed to your new schedule, you start desiring things from your life pre-devastating accident. For me it was to hang out with people my age and going out, at first I didn't necessarily want to hang out with my friends,  I didn't want people who knew me before to see me in that state. But after some time, I became comfortable with myself again and my situation, and started spending more time with some really solid friends who stood by me and I felt comfortable being completely vulnerable and volatile around and I knew they would get it  too.

Just recently, my desire for a job has been burning pretty intensely. I crave being an active and participating member of society. I want to do work and be rewarded. I'm 24 for god's sake, I want to be a professional, I want to get my career going. I'm so impatient, and eager, I understand this is going to take a while but I'm not happy about it.

As my life is taking shape again, I'm realizing that there will probably be less international travel than I would like on the horizon {though I fully plan on keeping my new years resolution from back in 2005 to leave the USA at least once a year} mostly because I don't have too much money or a job, and when I do get a job, that will definitely anchor me down, and also because of my family, I just don't feel like being away from them very much these days. But, travel is an essential part of my existence. My wanderlust is unquenchable, if you will. So how is this going to work out? In 2010 the Unites States had 59.3 million international tourists. 59.3 million people came to see my homeland? And I have hardly traveled it? what's wrong with me!? I haven't even been to our nation's CAPITAL! I'm realizing, I can take advantage of my time "stuck" in America, and I can stop calling it "stuck" and start seeing it as an opportunity to travel, and this era will be called "The epoch of AMERITRAVELS".

Ameritravel #1 Pacific Northwest Tour- Start date: Saturday, August 20 End date: Saturday, August 27


Ameritravels Menu: 
Santa Barbara, CA {Definitely this fall to visit my good friend Mike from arch school}
Austin, Tx {I have a free flight, and it's either taking me to Austin with Ashley...}
Washington DC {Or that free flight will take me to DC to visit Jackie}
Boston, MA {Maybe while I'm in DC I can visit Megan in Boston}
Las Vegas, NV{most likely will happen for/on/around my birthday}
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
and Miami, FL

Not sure exactly when these are going to happen or in what order, but presuming I will have a job with a strict work schedule, these are the federal holidays I have to work with:

Monday, September 5, 2011 LABOR DAY
Monday, October 10 COLUMBUS DAY
Friday, November 11 VETERANS DAY
Thursday, November 24 THANKS GIVING DAY
Monday, December 26 CHRISTMAS DAY
Monday, January 2, 2010 NEW YEAR'S DAY
Monday, January 16 MLK JR BIRTHDAY
Monday, February 20 WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY
Monday, May 28 MEMORIAL DAY
Wednesday July 4 INDEPENDENCE DAY
Monday, September 3 LABOR DAY

Ready, set, go!

note the date ^ {its 1/1/11}

It's 1/1/11! That's pretty cool, I think. {1/11/11 will be fun too. So will 11/11/11. And 11/1/11, [thank you Ale:) ] }

Ok so the POINT is: 1/1/11= new year= new hopes, new dreams, new goals, new people, new places. I feel this quote is perfect for this day, to set the tone for the coming year ::


**I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily...**
-Thoreau

{Im starting to re-read Emerson's Nature, Thoreau's Civil Disobedience and Walden...oh boy}

Really, everyday is the completion of a year. And everyday is a new year [from a year ago..haha. Follow?] It's just that we don't celebrate everyday because everyday is not super notable... maybe using Thoreau's wise words, this year we can make many notable days and celebrate their year anniversaries forever.

Hi 2011!

I love the new year because its like everybody's birthday all at once. 

In 2010 I...
*completed my terminal studio
*and {after 5 crazy years} graduated from the University of Oregon with a bachelor of architecture from the nation's highest ranked sustainable architecture school!
* I got to have my grandparents watch me graduate
* I met some wonderful people who have taught me so much and helped me learn and grow in so many ways
* I said goodbye to a very dear member of our family (Duchess) and still mourn her loss
* I kept up my hobby of making jewelry and learned how to refinish furniture,
* I learned how to fish
* I explored some beautiful parts of Oregon before leaving (temporarily),  and I moved to Spain to make my life long dream come true
* I went to France, Switzerland,  The Netherlands (again) AND NORWAY and traveled around Spain! * I learned how to cook
* I managed to "demagnetize" 4 spanish bank cards
* I realized the magnet from my camera case was the cause of the card demagnetization
* I discovered I actually really like kids
* I became vegetarian in 2010.

2010 was probably my favorite year {second only to 2005} but I'm not sad to see it come to an end. I'm looking forward to discovering what 2011 has in store for us :)

In 2011 I hope to:
*see the northern lights
*travel around Eastern europe
*have my family visit me in Spain :)
*continue to meet wonderful positive people with whom I can share healthy friendships that help one another grow
*be a really good vegetarian and even more dietetically healthy
*continue exercising {the problem is when?? I don't get home until past 8 every night}
*start saving money from the private lessons I teach every DAY after work
*continue making things with my hands because it makes me so happy {and learn to knit}
*continue learning and improving my cooking and baking skillz
*get a bank card that doesn't get demagnetized 
*get my architecture portfolio together and land a design job with an architecture firm in Madrid
*be healthy, and happy.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

visuals

Lately, I've been thinking about women a lot. I've graduated from college, I'm "in the real world" I've had a few serious romantic relationships,  and I'm living in a foreign country (which I feel forces you to shed and abandon any societal or cultural norms you are used to from back home). I'm beginning to discover what role I want to play in society, in a relationship, in a family etc. So, a lot of gender role issues, societal double standards, and even traditions, have been brought to my attention in my exploration of who and how I want to be. I've been exploring these, questioning them, and discussing them with friends. I've been watching a lot of the tv show Madmen too {its a tv show about advertisement men of the 1960's, [not too far from Will Farrel's portrayal of the anchor man actually] but really the show is about gender roles, and societal "norms", and how these were/are not realistic and how much things have changed since the 1960's but also, it brings to my attention many of the things that I might not be questioning right now, because it seems normal. It makes me wonder how my grandchildren will look back and think, wow I can't believe women DID (or didn't do) THAT back then!} The show is beautiful, I highly highly HIGHLY recommend it to everyone.

Anyway, the following pictures will probably make sense now that you know this is where my brain has been for the past few months:

national geographic post card: this picture takes my breath away every time I see it. It is so powerful.

Munch: woman with poppies {she is so serene and content being surrounded by natural beauty}

Munch: madonna { this captures something about women, that can't really be expressed in words. It's their ora, their presence. It's confusing, but It's there}

Munch: blossom of pain {I just get this. The irony of having something beautiful stem from your pain, of having something physical birth from your pain.  Seeing your pain not just as a phenomenon that's inside you but as an external living creature. I get it.}

Munch: nude by wicker chair {There is something so real revealed in this even though visually it is abstract and impressionist}

Munch: weeping nude {naked physically and naked emotionally. raw. sad. we've all been there}

Munch: Eva Mudocci {my friend told me this girl looked like me, and I kind of agree! I like the way he preserves her glow shrouded by all the darkness around her}

thank you

life is crazy. it is gorgeous.

it amazes me every day.

I'm so fortunate to  have so much beauty around me, 

and to be able to recognize that beauty and appreciate it.

I have such wonderful people around me and 

have had so many incredible opportunities to direct my life the way I wish.

I'm so thankful for my good health and I'm thankful for every experience I have had good and bad.

I can feel myself growing everyday and changing

and I'm  grateful that I have the ability to absorb from my environment and evolve.

*

*

*

"fruta bomba" by Wifredo Lam

happy tastebuds

I'm an omnivore. I'm a foodie. sheekamoo (farsi). glotón (spanish). I also am an environmentalist. I KNOW these 2 things are pretty much opposites. I KNOW that many of the decisions that I make about what I eat has a very negative impact on the world. and i KNOW that if i did EVEN a little bit of research I would make the decision to go vegetarian, if not vegan. But i chose to stay ignorant. i chose to not learn because i'm scared of not being able to enjoy my favourite foods. My taste buds always win the battle.

I don't cook very much using meat. Mostly because It takes longer, and I dont have time or patience. But i definitely LOVE meat. and i do eat it in persian food my mom makes, when i go out to restaurants etc.  Having been in Spain for 3 months and have definitely already ODed on ham and meat in general. I find myself seeking out vegetarian options, going to hare krishna centers to eat vegan dishes and researching vegetarian recipes.

The raw food christmas dinner I had last night was SO GOOD that I've decided to start incorporating more raw food meals into my diet as well. its pretty cool because generally it takes WAY less time to prepare the food (because there's no cooking involved) so thats a plus for my impatient side (but there are also a lot of  recipes that involve dehydrating the food and marinating for a few hours). Even the Recipes that take longer I think are completely worth it because it is RAW food, pure food, no vitamins or nutrients are lost, and i definitely think that it wouldnt hurt to include a few of these recipes into my diet each week.

I don't want to give up my eating delicious persian food, and all the wonderful dishes i love that include meat or are cooked, but I know even if I  decreasing the amount of meat/animal products I consume, I will still be able to keep my taste buds happy, be healthier, and tread lightly on this planet

last night I ate some of these Carrot Falafels with Tahini Sauce
and I'm starting to read this book The Kind Life

the Christmas table!

delicious marinated mushrooms and brussel sprouts that had been marinating in orange blossom water and vinagre with cranberries!

the carrot falafels and the fennel beet apple salad

KITTY!!!!!

they are sisters and they are SO FURRY...their names are something like Millen and Billen I cant remember, its Norwegian

I made friends with the viking's daughter!

eee!!!! i'm so excited! ive never been so up far north in the world before!!
ok so it IS VERY cold here, but not as scary as i thought! oh! and Siri (viking's daughter) was sitting next to me on the plane! amazing! so i made friends with her and turns out she was just studying abroad in BERKELEY for a semesterrrrr!!!!! and she was returning home to oslo after about 3 or 4 months. she was really nice and i got her email after my pen exploded all over her hands (2nd pen to explode between madrid and oslo) and maybe we'll hang out in oslo while i'm here!!! it was weird i couldnt beleive how close she was to my home and she had JUST arrived in europe...in schipol...where i was...and 7 hours before she was in sf it just blew my mind. i wanted to reach out and touch her arm or something because i felt like then i'd be closer to california or something bizarre it really was very crazy for me to think that she PROBABLY passed by keon on the streets of sf and then here i was sitting next to her. im actually still blowing my mind just thinking about it.

anyway i got to the airport, and got my giGANTIC back pack and my messenger bag (carry on) and was ridiculously bundled up with a 4 layers then a northface fleece then a wool jacket from mango and a huge scarf and gloves and pants with tights and leggings and ski socks and my boots. and then i proceeded to walk a kilometer in the snow (up-hil,l both ways..haha..jk) and my boots were totaly inappropriate! i almost slipped 100 times. but even if i did fall, my back pack would have broken my fall and nothing would have happened anyway. there were a lot of men who apparently are immigrants and dont celebrate christmas and like to hang around scaring little girls (me) by making creepy sounds and walking towards them in the dark (the sun set at 3:30)  around but i was fine. (oh also they have like 1 hour of sun here now...not 5) because there were enough non scary people around too. anyway i go to the 7-11 next door to trish's apartment and i tell them "i'm shayan and i'm here to pick up the keys" (actually i presented the lady with a piece of paper that trish had told me to print out that said that in norwegian) and the (indian) lady presented me with the lovely keys and i entered the iron gate, and took a left and went through the door and up 3 flights of stairs and entered the door with the stickers on it into the apartment, and entered the room directly across the entrance door and BAM!!THERE I WAS! standing in Trish's room in OSLO!! surreal.

now I am about to change real quick and go to Trish's frien (marianne's) house for a vegan/raw food christmas dinner! i'm so excited!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!!!! i love you!

5th times the charm?

Starting to feel like the Count Von Count from Sesame Street. "Lets see up to how many cards Shayan can count!" (we're at 5.) I think I figured out that my camera case (which has magnets to keep it shut) is what keeps on demagnetizing things. So I got rid of that case and am now using a sock to keep my camera safe. I will have to deal with ordering a new card AGAIN on January 11th after I've returned. I hope Jesus wont get mad at me [Jesus is the guy who works at my bank who has been helping her this wholetime] super.

On a brighter note  i go to norway tomorrow! its actually not bright at all right now.  Norway is in total darkness basically, less than 5 sunlight hours. and i'm nervous because its going to be COLD.  and i'm scared of the cold...

please, wish me luck!

4th time IS the charm!!!

Dear Lucky Number 4, I love you so much, you always pull through for me. Thank you.

I finally got a functioning bank card!!

yaaaaaaaaa!! after 3 months and 4 cards, I  celebrated by taking out 20 euro from an atm for the first time since I left America. and it. felt. incredible. I'd even go as far as to say it felt liberating ( to know i can now take out money at any time of day or (or afternoon) or night regardless of the useless bank hours) actually what i said isnt even true, i have been taking money out of an atm using my us card and its been horrible bcause it was charging me like crazy! so i suppose what i was celebrating was taking out money without feeling like I was having to hand over my first born child everytime. ha.

about the lunar eclipse which also coincided with the solstice: so special. i´m so mad i missed it. I woke up early before sunrise in madrid (which actually isnt that early since the sun rises at like 8) and i bundled up and went otuside to see it only to see a sky full of clouds and rain. (oh ps my window faces an interior courtyard so i couldnt tell it was raining). I was trying to explain to a spaniard that it was the solstice that night, and i didnt know the word for solstice (solsticio--should have guessed) so i was explaining how it was the longest night of the year and the spaniard replies "aaaah siiii!!!! dia de loteria!!" ("ooohh yeeessss!!! lottery day!!).....uummm...noo...

Holiday festivities at spanish schools: racist. they sang a song about "señor amalilla" (amarilla--which means yellow, but sung with the chinese accent confusing the l and r) yes, they teach their first graders that song. I dont understand the relevance to christmas, nor the thought process behind teaching first graders to immitate chinese accents whilst bowing with palms pressed together. but when i asked someone why they were teaching racist songs they got offended and said "no! its not racist! we're just making fun!"....ooh, i totally get it now... thanks for clarifying that...

everything happens for a reason

*I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.*
— Marilyn Monroe

I totally agree.

getting my sass back

Aretha Franklin. A pretty sassy lady.

When speaking English, I'd say I'm pretty sassy. Well, I'm sassy because that's just how my personality is {not afraid of confrontation or saying exactly whats on my mind, calling people out etc} but I can best express that when speaking English because I have a strong command of the language, and can pick my words perfectly with the exact amount of sarcasm or with whatever connotation I want. I know how to emphasize words effectively to get the message I want across perfectly.

In Spanish, this has not been possible for the past few months. I can survive with my Spanish, I can converse with people, talk about pretty profound things {though not as eloquently as I can in English}, I could even make a few jokes, but my sassyness was not able to be expressed. Because of my lack of understanding of words and all their connotations, my accent and inability to fully pronounce or emphasize words perfectly, I could never be sure if what I was saying was blatantly rude, or just didnt make sense. And when you're being sassy you don't have that leeway to mess it up. Because, then you just look like an idiot, frankly.

But the other day in Salamanca I experienced my first Spanish Sass and it happened without me even thinking about it!!! exciting!!!! here's what happened:
Carolina and I had gotten on a bus at 8:30 am in Madrid, and were supposed to arrive to Salamanca at 11:30. The bus was an hour and a half late arriving to Salamanca. Everyone unloaded from the bus very quickly {Spaniards have the most random sense of urgency sometimes, I'll write about that later though} Carolina and I each had a back pack and a purse. I also had my pillow {of course} that I had to roll up and stuff in my bag. Carolina couldn't find one of her gloves, So we were looking under the seats for them and gathering our things {grand total of time we were on the bus after everyone unloaded approx: 1 min 30 sec} when suddenly the bus driver {who had been leisurely smoking a cigarette and chatting with his fellow bus driver friend who had stepped onto the bus} rudely yells at us "CHICAS!!! DALE! MARALABARDALDIANDA {my version of unintelligible spanish mumble-yelling}" this was coming from the man who was 1.5 hours late bringing me to my weekend vacation. "Bale." we politely answered. Carolina found her glove. I slung my back pack over my shoulder and walked down the narrow isle towards the grump at the end. As I passed by him, I nonchalantly said over my shoulder "¿tienes prisa?" and skipped down the stairs exiting the bus.  "Tienes prisa?" is Spanish for   "are you in a rush?".  Naturally, the comment set the driver off  and he proceeded to bark back something about actually having a job and needing to work. We didn't catch all of it because we had already begun our vacation at that point.

Carolina and I had a very good laugh over it, about what a jerk he was,  how I didnt even think about it, how it just jumped off of my tongue,  and how perfect the statement was...

*          *          *          *          *          *

Tonight after dinner, my friends and I stopped at one of the many Christmas markets in the plazas of Madrid. Kati was buying 3 or 4 things from one {lucky} stall. She asked the guy if he'd give her a discount since she was buying so many things "no puedo, solo soy trabajador, no soy dueño" [ I can't i'm just a worker, I'm not the owner]...fine. after a couple minutes of Kati finalizing her decisions the man says "chicas estamos cerados, vuelven mañana" [girls, we're closed, come back tomorrow]...to which i replied "pero esta lista, quiere pagar!" [but she's ready she wants to pay!]  "no, estamos cerado" [no, we're closed]...this is unbelievable, we're standing here, merchandise in hand, money in the other hand, ready to pay and he wants to kick us out??...suddenly it slipped: "QUE TIPO DE TRABAJADOR ERES?!" [what kind of worker are you??]...he looked at us and rung Kati up. We walked away giggling.

I'm very excited to see my sass coming back, and in Spanish!! I had missed her.

i'll be naked in no time...

the last time i ever wore my beloved knit grey sweater :'( in parc güell

In france I burnt a really cute grey sweater of mine that i was trying to dry by the fire place....


and I just realized i left a really great knit grey turtleneck long sleeve dress that was SUPER WARM in barcelona...i'm REALLY mad at myself. I hhaattee losing things.

DIY: raising decent kids

I used to wonder [alot] about how to raise decent kids. I really look up to my parents and respect them as people who raised a really healthy and successful family/kids...also, lets me honest, they really lucked out, cuz my sister and i were angel-children. [i believe the height of my terrible twos was captured on video when i lightly stuck my finger in the side of my sisters birthday cake because I wanted some frosting, my dad over reacted to say the least.... and the  peak of my teenage rebellion phase involved me picking the state flower {california poppy} which is technically "illegal". what a rebel I am.] Anyway...

I still think my parents did really well and I always worried if I would be as good a parent as they were. I used to wonder how to even begin establishing a solid foundation for kids to develop from...

Having worked in a school with children from ages 6-12 for 3 months, I feel like those questions are starting to be answered. Here are a few of the most important traits that I have identified that are common to my favorite [ya thats right i have favorites] and best students:

1. the ability to listen and apply [its amazing how so few children are not even capable of 'monkey see monkey do'] this is also directly related to number 2
2. having enough confidence in themselves to figure something out on their own.
3. have respect for authority figures [teachers and parents] while still being able to communicate and interact with them effectively and comfortably.

so, starting to realize that yes parenting is/will be hard. but if you know what the most important things are for setting up a child for a healthy and successful future then it wont feel like such a shot in the dark.

ok now go here because most of us dont have kids and dont need to worry about that for a long time and  this is adorable and has nothing to do with babies or kids.

living by the Vegetannual

vegetannual

Why do people get so excited for the holidays? why do people get excited for seasons changing? why do people get excited for their birthdays? because it only happens once a year! Its super exciting, right!? cherish every moment, enjoy everything about it because once its over it wont be coming back for a whole year!

why dont we apply this to our food? eating seasonally not only is healthier, better for the environment (not trucking things from super far away), and better for local economy...it also just more exciting! everything becomes a commodity. everything is appreciated more and you look forward to small things like eating strawberries in the summer because you've been craving them all winter but were unable to eat them until strawberry season arrived!! some people talk about getting sick of their boring lives, and routines and everythings always the same...its because we make it always the same. even on such a small scale as having access to avocados in the dead of december (by the way why are avocados called aguacates in spanish? youd think theyd just be called avocados) it takes away the excitement of when its really avocado season. everything becomes homogenous and mundane. and repetetive. eating seasonally will make you appreciate the seasons changing EVEN more, and it'll spice up your life, because you wont be eating the same thing all year round. AND it'll get you to be more creative in the kitchen!! thats always fun too.

I credit Eugene, Oregon (and my Persian background) for getting me interested in this sort of thing. If it sounds interesting to you, read  Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver

{to be fair, i did just tell my mom to eat some watermelon, which definitely is not in season right now. Eating seasonally is like trying to break an addiction to having whatever you want whenever you want. New years resolution?}

"Happiness is only real when share"

this is something I believe with every cell in my body and it is a huge point of contention for me right now. I am happy in Spain, I am sharing my happiness with many people I care about. But the most important people in the world to me are not here to experience it with me. {Maybe that's why this blog is good? Because I can begin to share some of that happiness with them? But its more like show-and-tell rather than a shared and participatory happiness.} Simultaneously, I think that maybe the happiness I feel here could never be shared that way with the people back home... because, I guess, much of the happiness I get from being here is because I am away from home...and on my own... But I've experienced that  before like when I went to university I couldn't share everything with say, my family, but I mean i'm on the opposite side of the earth from the vast majority of my friends and family. When I'm awake they're asleep, when They're awake I'm asleep

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*

*

I don't know, I guess I'll just stop thinking about it for now and just enjoy the fact that I am here.

And be thankful that the internet exists.

also video chat.

but I'm still waiting for teleporting.

(wow, teleporting is being underlined as a misspelled word. I guess that's a good place to start. Actually adding the word to the dictionary since the concept obviously exists.)

christmas spirit

My family doesn't have very strong Christmas traditions, but I think I always kind of wished we did. I DEFINITELY wish we did a Christmas dinner (like thanksgiving, but round 2). I fully plan on adopting this tradition when I'm older, have a family, am geographically closer to my parents and sis, and am not so transient. I really wish i could get a small tree for my room to decorate but:

1. my room has no room.

2. waste of money and a tree because i'll be in Norway for most of the holiday season...

3. i have no ornaments.

Maybe i'll get a poinsettia. or some holly. or mistletoe. There are really cute holiday markets in almost every plaza and square in Europe right now.

consistently inconsistent

I changed my blog scheme again. Why can't I just pick a color and stick to it? its JUST a blog...and people ask me why I would never get a tattoo...

cooking and baking.

this weekend i made bulgogi {korean bbq, recipe below} for carolina and myself. I learned how to make this dish from Darryl and his family. Carolina and I went to an asian supermarket and got most of the ingredients. though even THEY dont have EVERYTHING that was necessary. it was surprising because in america the asian markets are very thorough. the bulgogi turned out GREAT. a bit too much soy sauce. ill put less next time. Carolina gave me umeshu (plum liquor, aka Aloo liquor) it was delicious, it reminded me of my childhood, because ive been eating aloos (plums) since i was little. and I could barely taste the alcohol. it was dangerous. actually im just kidding. i didnt even get buzzed.  then Carolina made a delicious salad with sesame dressing and pomegranates and mango and pear and endives. YUM. then today she made thai green curry. it . was. so. good. Ive been having a really good time exploring the kitchen with her. I would like to do some baking next.
we went to the reina sofia today when it was free in the morning. and now the prado is free, so we are going there. I love our dates.

oh we also went to the hare krishna place (once on wednesday and once on friday). Safe to say she's just as addicted as i am 

Bulgogi recipe:
sesame oil
toasted sesame seeds
pepper flakes
chili oil
black pepper
ginger
garlic
green onions
chives if you want
(normal) onions (we only had purple so we used those, but normally i use the yellow ones)
sugar (normally youre supposed to use brown sugar, but I use what I have at home which tends to be white. some people chose to use honey)
soy sauce (not too much, it can get too salty)
kiwi (for really tenderizing the meat)
chicken or beef (i prefer beef but carolina doesnt eat beef so we did it with chicken at it was great)
rice (or noodles if youre craving that, which i generally am)
kim chi

cut meat PAPER THIN. the thinner the better.
MIX ALL ingredients together (...i honestly just eyeballed everything. i have no sense of measurements when it comes to bulgogi. just whatever sounds like it´ll make a sauce to your liking. If this really makes you uncomfortable though, this is a good place to start.) Also it depends on how much meat youre working with. Generally though a teaspoonish of sugar, and for the soy sauce you just dont want the meat swimming around in it... im obsessed with sesame oil so i generally put more than what most recipes call for. and then with the spicy ingredients, get creative. add whatever you want and however much you want. as for the kiwi, i generally do  half a kiwi just mash it up with a fork and add it to everything else. let the meat marinate in this for 2 hours. honestly, i have made this before without letting it marinate, and ya it doesnt taste as awesome but i was starving. With carolina we let it marinate OVER NIGHT and it was amazing the next day.
start cooking your noodles or rice first since i think it normally takes longer to make that than the meat.
then in a pan just dump all the meat and cook it in the pan.
serve the rice with the meat on top. put some kimchi on the side and let your taste buds have the time of their lives!!

Spanish banks are stupid

got my pin finally...but my NEW card STILL doesnt work. I dont GET IT. they keep on saying its been de-magnetized. but thats not possible. i left my card at home so nothing would happen to it. so Jesus is requesting a new card for me. again. this is card number 3! hopefully 4th times the charm. should be here in a few days, but that doesnt matter because I cant go till friday anyway to get it. if it doesnt work this time im switching banks. because this is ridiculous. 3 months of trying to get a SIMPLE card is UNACCEPTABLE (as my dad would say). ok well everyone, even if you are an atheist, just please start praying for me to get a functioning card so i can live a normal life here please. i can use the positive brainwaves/energy/supernatural help.
xx

how far I really am

Just measured how far my home in Spain is from my home in Oregon: 5498.690 miles

and how far my home in Spain is from my home in California: 5807.326

YIKES. im far.