hiatus: terminated

It's been a few months since I've written anything. In this time I have learned how to live comfortably in hospitals,  I've become wayyy more comfortable with blood and other scary bodily functions than is necessary, and I can talk like a seasoned doctor who has been practicing for 30 years.

 I didn't want to preserve or remember what I was going through. I absolutely wanted to forget it. The pain of seeing your dad and family, go through a devastating accident is beyond overwhelming.

It's very strange and surreal how your body keeps on going in extremely difficult times like these. People have told us "You're so strong and brave, we don't know how you do it" but I think that it's a natural human instinct to keep on surviving. I think everyone would do what we are doing, because, we aren't doing much, just going through it, and keep on living. And you DON'T know how you do it. But I think that's when your body kind of goes into autopilot. And even though this is a very complicated and disastrous event in your life, somehow the rest of your life gets very simple: you eat whatever you want whenever you want. You cry whenever you want where ever you want as hard as you want for as long as you want. You really see who your true friends are, even family members can weed themselves out during times like these, the ones that will stand by you and really help you vs the ones who don't. And the people who do falter, you just let go of them with no problem. You have no energy or care to bother with them anymore. You sleep so hard you don't dream. Your priorities really line up in times like these. And I mean like basic life survival priorities. It's like life gets really condensed and all the bullshit is boiled off and whats left is really pure and basic. Elemental life.

Now, I'm settled a bit more. Living with my mom in my hometown, Los Gatos. Actually working on my architecture portfolio (and making good progress! Though it is truly AMAZING how SLOWLY these things come together, sometimes it's so daunting, and other times, really inspiring.) I'm applying for (non architecture) jobs and have started interviewing to stay busy and entertained and productive (until the portfolio is finished I can't start actively applying and interviewing for architecture jobs. The portfolio is crucial.)

Tangent: I really like job interviews they're so exciting.

I've been making a LOT of things, mostly accessories. Making things is one of my most favorite things to do in the entire world. It's so rewarding to physically see how productive you can be! Making things is up there on my list along with laughing, eating, and traveling...those are definitely my four #1 most favorite things to do in the world. They're tied.

Tangent: JUST discovered the TV show PICKER SISTERS yesterday (I know, stupid name, also, ignore the trailer, the "sisters" are kind of annoying, also they are not really sisters)...BUT, I don't even know how to explain how excited I was. BECAUSE the show is about using recycled/second hand "garbage" and redesigning it/reworking it into amazing beautiful unique furniture!! If you are creative, like design, and making things, watch this show. But maybe buy some adult diapers first because you will probably lose bladder control.

Tangent: Cousin is getting married and I made her a flower/veil head piece and I finally finished it last night!

After some of the dust settles and you start getting used to the concept of what your life is now, start getting accustomed to your new schedule, you start desiring things from your life pre-devastating accident. For me it was to hang out with people my age and going out, at first I didn't necessarily want to hang out with my friends,  I didn't want people who knew me before to see me in that state. But after some time, I became comfortable with myself again and my situation, and started spending more time with some really solid friends who stood by me and I felt comfortable being completely vulnerable and volatile around and I knew they would get it  too.

Just recently, my desire for a job has been burning pretty intensely. I crave being an active and participating member of society. I want to do work and be rewarded. I'm 24 for god's sake, I want to be a professional, I want to get my career going. I'm so impatient, and eager, I understand this is going to take a while but I'm not happy about it.

As my life is taking shape again, I'm realizing that there will probably be less international travel than I would like on the horizon {though I fully plan on keeping my new years resolution from back in 2005 to leave the USA at least once a year} mostly because I don't have too much money or a job, and when I do get a job, that will definitely anchor me down, and also because of my family, I just don't feel like being away from them very much these days. But, travel is an essential part of my existence. My wanderlust is unquenchable, if you will. So how is this going to work out? In 2010 the Unites States had 59.3 million international tourists. 59.3 million people came to see my homeland? And I have hardly traveled it? what's wrong with me!? I haven't even been to our nation's CAPITAL! I'm realizing, I can take advantage of my time "stuck" in America, and I can stop calling it "stuck" and start seeing it as an opportunity to travel, and this era will be called "The epoch of AMERITRAVELS".

Ameritravel #1 Pacific Northwest Tour- Start date: Saturday, August 20 End date: Saturday, August 27


Ameritravels Menu: 
Santa Barbara, CA {Definitely this fall to visit my good friend Mike from arch school}
Austin, Tx {I have a free flight, and it's either taking me to Austin with Ashley...}
Washington DC {Or that free flight will take me to DC to visit Jackie}
Boston, MA {Maybe while I'm in DC I can visit Megan in Boston}
Las Vegas, NV{most likely will happen for/on/around my birthday}
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
and Miami, FL

Not sure exactly when these are going to happen or in what order, but presuming I will have a job with a strict work schedule, these are the federal holidays I have to work with:

Monday, September 5, 2011 LABOR DAY
Monday, October 10 COLUMBUS DAY
Friday, November 11 VETERANS DAY
Thursday, November 24 THANKS GIVING DAY
Monday, December 26 CHRISTMAS DAY
Monday, January 2, 2010 NEW YEAR'S DAY
Monday, January 16 MLK JR BIRTHDAY
Monday, February 20 WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY
Monday, May 28 MEMORIAL DAY
Wednesday July 4 INDEPENDENCE DAY
Monday, September 3 LABOR DAY

Ready, set, go!